I am afraid of change. Yet just as the quote (by C.S. Lewis) states, “getting over a painful experience is much like crossing the monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” I can let fear hold me back from something or let faith carry me forward. Which will I do? Go forward and move ahead in victory or stay in the same place and hurt even more?
I have alters, parts created to keep me safe when shit happened to me. I was unable to keep myself safe so they became. I’m learning how valuable each is. Some are scared. Some are angry. Some have specific tasks..all are me…parts that exist …one day my goal actually is wholeness. Not because someone told me too…honestly if anyone tells Venus we’d want to do the opposite. ..that’s my Venus for ya. Teenage anger and rebellion. Still the anger is for a specific purpose I had a lot of reasons anger became repressed. I, Venus, still believe that reason exists …along with EZE, fear of adults along with anger toward adults equals…doing all possible to push them away….yet
Scribe, my reason, we see, along with logic liz that would hurt us more. It may have kept us safe …but not living the life God intends us to live. We can stay on the same path of fear or step and leap with the faith on the path to the LIFE God has for all of me.
It means EZE and Venus we gotta let go and allow the hurt and pain and anger exist and we need to express it. Not just say it…but truly express it. Tears are strength. Tears are beauty. Tears mean hope.
We are on joyrney. God took us to a path… we are on this path for our healing. We met a person who is helping us…Venus, Ultra, EZE, LPL, hidden, little liz, teenage lizzy, lovies, MomyE, WB, scribe, logic Liz and finally my fun loving no fear little lizzy. We honestly do not fear and we are stronger than we knew. Rebellion from Venus helped us not fear adults. So thanks venus!!
We met a woman who is counseling, mentoring, and helping us to learn we really are an awesome woman…and we really can trust adults. We really can trust ourself.. and we really are allowed to be angry and want things for ourself.
Life is life. What we do with what life throws at us determines what we become….bitter or better. I want to choose the hard path…yet the one God is on the one He has for me…the one that leads to my real home….